Menopause Weight Gain: When I Stopped Trying to Lose Weight and Started Trying to Live

May 25

By Michele | Certified Menopause Coach, Girls Gone Strong

This article combines my personal experience with evidence-informed research and is reviewed regularly to reflect current menopause guidance. Last updated: July 2026.

A Note From Michele

This is one of the most personal articles I've written.

It isn't just about menopause weight gain.

It's about what happened after my body changed almost overnight, the years I spent believing I simply wasn't trying hard enough, and the moment I realized I had been measuring the wrong thing all along.

If you've been standing in front of the mirror wondering what happened to your body, I hope this helps you feel a little less alone.

I weighed 145 pounds before I started Lupron.

I had been prescribed Lupron to manage my symptoms while I waited for surgery. The only thing anyone told me was that it would induce menopause symptoms. Nobody explained what those symptoms might actually feel like. Nobody mentioned weight.

Weight gain is only one of many changes women experience during this transition. If you're wondering whether other symptoms could be connected, read Perimenopause Symptoms: What Your Body May Be Trying to Tell You.

At the time, my body already felt like it was failing me in so many ways. I was living with mal de débarquement syndrome that made the ground move beneath my feet, high blood pressure, and bleeding episodes that sent me running for bathrooms. Any medication promising relief felt like a lifeline.

What could be worse than what I was already living through?

I remember putting on a favorite pair of jeans for my daughter's birthday. They felt snug. I stepped on the scale and saw 155 pounds. I didn't think much of it.

Within months, those jeans didn't fit at all.

The numbers climbed in a sequence I still remember.

162.

165.

169.

172.

175.

Then they stopped.

For four years, they barely moved.

I want to tell you what happened next because I think it happens to far more women than anyone talks about honestly.

The Doctor Visit That Was Not What I Expected

By 2024, I had been sitting at 175 for years. I made an appointment with my doctor because I assumed she would prescribe a GLP-1 medication. That was what everyone was talking about. That was what I thought I needed.

Instead, she explained that I didn't qualify. I was not obese. I was not diabetic. The medical system she worked within simply wouldn't allow her to prescribe it.

Then came the advice.

Stop smoking. I have never smoked a day in my life.

Stop drinking. I have a couple of drinks on weekends.

Lose weight. That was exactly what I had come to ask her how to do.

Reduce your stress. I work under a boss who demands perfection from five in the morning until four in the afternoon with almost no breathing room.

Looking back, I realize chronic stress was affecting more than my mood. It was changing how I slept, how I recovered, and how I felt every day. If you've noticed stress feels different during perimenopause, you might also enjoy Cortisol & Perimenopause.

I did not leave that appointment angry. I left disappointed. Not in my doctor. She was working within a system she didn't create. Her recommendations—eat lower carb, reduce sugar, exercise more—were reasonable. They simply weren't enough.

During another appointment later that year, she said something I've thought about hundreds of times since.

“At my age losing weight is like trying to push a pebble up a mountain.”

I think she meant it as comfort. I think she was trying to tell me that the universe was stacked against me and that it was okay if the number on the scale never moved. I think she was trying to release me from blame in the only way she could.

It did not feel like comfort at the time. It felt like the door closing.

Four Years of Trying

What happened next is probably familiar to more women than we admit.

I downloaded an app and tracked every calorie. Every meal. Every ingredient that went into dinner.

I exercised six days a week. Thirty to forty-five minutes of cardio. Three days of weights and core. I even followed a AI generated workout plan built around my age, my goals, and everything I thought my body needed.

I weighed myself Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday. Always first thing in the morning. Always before breakfast. Always without clothes. I even exhaled before stepping on the scale because somehow I convinced myself that the air in my lungs might matter. Looking back, I can laugh at it. At the time, it felt deadly serious.

There would be moments that gave me hope. The scale would dip to 169, and I'd think, Finally. This is working. Two days later it would be back at 175. I'd commit to another four weeks, cutting out even more carbs, skipping dessert, pushing harder during workouts, convinced that this time would be different.

It never was.

When nothing changed, I went back to my doctor. That is when she said the pebble line. I wanted to believe her, but I wasn't ready to let go of the idea that the problem was me. I kept trying anyway because I still believed there had to be a version of myself who simply worked harder than I did.

Then I'd open social media and see women my age with bodies that looked twenty years younger than mine. I compared myself constantly. I assumed they knew something I didn't, that if I could just find the right workout, the right diet, or enough discipline, I'd eventually become her too.

I spent years chasing that version of myself.

She never came back.

The Body in the Mirror

There is a part of this story I haven't shared publicly before.

Before going somewhere, I'd stand in front of the mirror trying on outfit after outfit. Everything felt wrong. I'd notice my arms first, then my thighs, then my stomach. Without realizing it, I'd make a mental list of every way my body had changed since menopause. It became a quiet ritual of self-criticism that followed me into dinners, vacations, and celebrations.

That kind of inner dialogue is exhausting. It steals energy from the life happening around you because you're too busy wishing your body looked like it used to.

People often talk about learning to love their bodies, but that isn't my story. I'm not going to tell you I look in the mirror today and suddenly see someone I love because that wouldn't be honest.

What I have found is something quieter.

I don't hate my body anymore. I don't spend my days fighting it or waiting for it to become someone else's. I just want to dress the body I have, enjoy the people I love, and stop letting a number on the scale decide whether I'm allowed to have a good day.

That isn't body positivity.

It's something gentler.

It's peace.

What the Research Says About Weight in Perimenopause

TThis is the part almost every menopause article includes, and most of them present the science as if knowing it somehow makes the experience easier. It doesn't. But understanding what's happening can help us stop blaming ourselves.

As estrogen declines during perimenopause and menopause, body composition naturally changes. Fat distribution often shifts from the hips and thighs toward the abdomen. Muscle mass gradually declines unless we actively work to preserve it, and many women notice that maintaining their weight becomes much more difficult than it once was. Research also suggests insulin sensitivity may decrease during this transition, making the body respond differently to the foods and habits that may have worked for decades.

The research also tells us something hopeful. The strategies that worked in our twenties and thirties aren't necessarily the strategies that serve us now. Severe calorie restriction often backfires because the body adapts by conserving energy. Cardio alone is usually less effective than combining resistance training with adequate protein and sustainable nutrition habits.

Perhaps the most important finding has nothing to do with weight at all.

The scale measures one thing.

Strength measures something else entirely.

Research continues to show that preserving muscle, protecting bone density, improving balance, and maintaining functional strength have a greater impact on long-term health than chasing a specific number on the scale. That was the information I needed when I gained thirty pounds almost overnight and no one could explain why.

The research exists.

It just never reaches the women who need it most.

One thing I learned is that health during menopause isn't about focusing on a single symptom. Sleep, stress, nutrition, and movement all work together, which is why improving sleep became just as important as improving my workouts. Sleep Strategies for Perimenopause: The 2 A.M. Wake-Up

What Actually Changed for Me

This year something shifted. Not because of one thing. Because of a few things landing at the same time.

Last summer, I started having heart palpitations. After every test imaginable, the doctor looked at me and said something I wasn't expecting to hear: my heart health was above average for my age. For the first time in years, my body wasn't disappointing me. It was doing something remarkably well. I had spent so much time focusing on what my body looked like that I had completely overlooked what it was capable of doing.

Around the same time, I began paying attention to my energy. I kept telling myself I was exhausted, and I was. But I was also carrying more than I ever gave myself credit for. I was working two jobs, exercising six days a week, helping my daughter plan a wedding in Italy, and building NovaPause. My body wasn't failing me. It was carrying me through one of the busiest seasons of my life.

Then social media did something unexpected. For once, it showed me exactly what I needed to hear.

One video featured an older woman lifting weights at the gym. Someone asked why she still worked out so hard, and she smiled before answering, "So I can carry my husband if there's ever a medical emergency."

A few days later I watched another woman climb over a fence. The caption read, "I work out so I can escape the retirement home." I laughed, but something about those two women stayed with me long after I put my phone down.

For years, I had been exercising because I wanted my body to become smaller. Suddenly, I realized I wanted something completely different. I wanted to be capable. I wanted to carry my own groceries when I was seventy-five, hike without worrying whether I could keep up, help my husband if he ever needed me, chase future grandchildren, and take every trip on our bucket list without wondering if my body would let me.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped training for a smaller body.

I started training for a bigger life.

“I do not want a number on a scale. I want a body that can keep going.”

What I Do Now

I stopped weighing myself in April, and I haven't stepped on a scale since. I honestly couldn't tell you what I weigh today because the number stopped being the measure of whether I was succeeding.

That doesn't mean I stopped caring about my health. If anything, I care more.

I still exercise six days a week, but my goals have changed. Three days are dedicated to cardio—twenty-five minutes of incline walking, a few minutes of sprints, and a cooldown. The other three focus on strength training and core work because preserving muscle feels far more important than chasing a smaller number on the scale.

One of the simplest habits I've created has also been the most effective. I'm only allowed to watch my favorite television show while I'm exercising. It sounds almost too simple, but that little rule has done more for my consistency than any motivational speech ever could.

My nutrition has changed too. I still eat lower carb and lower sugar than I used to, but I don't obsess over perfection anymore. I focus on protein, have a protein shake most days, and usually reach for yogurt with berries or cottage cheese as a snack. Right now I'm working on drinking more water and eating more fiber because progress still matters. It just doesn't have to be perfect.

Some weeks I eat well, exercise consistently, and feel strong. Other weeks I'm exhausted, I walk on the treadmill while watching my show, and I call that enough. There are days I order dessert, skip a workout, and remind myself that one meal has never defined a healthy life.

The biggest lesson I've learned isn't discipline.

It's grace.

This isn't a six-week challenge. It's the rest of my life.

My husband and I recently started stretching together every evening because neither of us is getting any younger. When we return from Italy, we're signing up for yoga. We didn't spend our twenties, thirties, or forties preparing for old age because old age felt impossibly far away. Now it doesn't. We've decided we'd like to arrive there as strong as we can.

If You're Reading This...

If you've made it this far, I'm guessing parts of this story felt familiar. Maybe you've stepped on the scale and wondered how your body changed so quickly. Maybe you've started over every Monday with a new diet, convinced that this time you'll finally find the answer. Maybe you've stood in front of the mirror, pulling at your clothes and wondering where the woman you used to recognize went. Or maybe you're simply tired—tired of feeling like you're failing at something that once seemed so much easier.

I wish someone had told me years ago that what I was experiencing wasn't a personal failure. My body wasn't betraying me, and I hadn't suddenly lost my willpower. It was adapting to one of the biggest hormonal transitions of my life. Knowing that didn't magically make the weight disappear, but it did begin to quiet the guilt I had been carrying for years.

That doesn't mean I stopped caring about my health. If anything, I care more now than I ever have. The difference is that my goals have changed. I'm no longer chasing the body I had at thirty-five. I'm trying to build the strongest, healthiest version of the body I have today. Some days that means lifting weights. Some days it means going for a walk, stretching before bed, or simply choosing foods that help me feel my best. Progress still matters. It just looks different than it used to.

I still have moments when I wish the scale told a different story. I still catch myself comparing who I am today to who I was ten years ago. But those moments don't get to decide how I feel about myself anymore. They don't get to take away a vacation, a celebration, or an ordinary Tuesday with the people I love.

If you're carrying frustration, guilt, or disappointment today, I hope you'll give yourself the same grace I'm still learning to give myself. Your body is changing, but it is not finished. It is still capable of strength, joy, adventure, and healing. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do isn't trying harder to become who we used to be. Sometimes it's choosing to care for the woman we are becoming.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by several symptoms at once, my free Find Your Cool: 3-Day Reset is designed to help you take the first step with simple, evidence-informed strategies.

Seventy-Eight Steps to Breakfast

In a few weeks, my youngest daughter will get married in Italy. The place we're staying has seventy-eight steps between our room and where breakfast is served each morning.

A few years ago, I would have worried about how I looked walking down those steps. Today, I only care that I can.

That may be the biggest gift this journey has given me. Somewhere along the way, I stopped asking my body to become smaller and started asking it to carry me through the life I still want to live.

If you're standing in front of a mirror wondering where your old body went, I hope you know this: you are not failing. Your body is changing, and your goals are allowed to change with it.

The scale tells one story.

It doesn't tell the whole story.

I still don't know what I weigh, and I'm not going to check. I'm going to put on clothes that fit, walk those seventy-eight steps to breakfast, celebrate my daughter's wedding, and be grateful that my body is still carrying me through the moments that matter most.

The research exists.

I just hope it finally reaches the women who need it.

🤍 Michele

Frequently Asked Questions

Is menopause weight gain inevitable?

Weight gain during perimenopause and menopause is common, but it isn't inevitable. Hormonal changes can make it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it, particularly around the abdomen. At the same time, aging naturally affects muscle mass, metabolism, sleep, and stress levels, all of which can influence body composition. While you may not have complete control over the number on the scale, you can support your long-term health through strength training, balanced nutrition, quality sleep, and regular movement.

Many women experience weight changes alongside hot flashes, sleep disruption, and mood shifts. If hot flashes are one of your biggest challenges, read How to Naturally Manage Hot Flashes and Night Sweats in Perimenopause.

Why is it so much harder to lose weight during menopause?

As estrogen declines, the body undergoes several changes that affect how it stores and uses energy. Many women experience a gradual loss of muscle mass, increased abdominal fat, changes in insulin sensitivity, and a slower resting metabolism. These changes don't mean weight loss is impossible, but they often mean the strategies that worked in your twenties and thirties may no longer produce the same results.

You may also enjoy reading Cortisol & Perimenopausesince stress hormones can influence how we feel during this stage.

Should I stop weighing myself?

That depends on your relationship with the scale. For some women, regular weigh-ins provide helpful data without affecting their mood or self-worth. For others, the number becomes a source of frustration and discouragement. If stepping on the scale leaves you feeling defeated or determines whether you think you've had a "good" or "bad" day, it may be worth taking a break and focusing instead on how you feel, how you're moving, and how your clothes fit.

What type of exercise is best during menopause?

The best exercise is the one you'll do consistently. Research supports combining aerobic activity with strength training because each offers different benefits. Cardio supports heart health and endurance, while strength training helps preserve muscle mass, supports bone health, and may improve long-term functional fitness. Flexibility and balance exercises, such as yoga or stretching, can also become increasingly valuable as we age.

Sleep also plays a surprisingly important role in recovery and maintaining muscle. Check out Sleep Strategies for Perimenopause to learn more.

How much protein should women eat during menopause?

Protein needs vary based on age, activity level, and overall health. Many experts recommend that midlife women prioritize protein at each meal to help preserve muscle mass and support recovery from exercise. If you're unsure how much protein is right for you, consider speaking with a registered dietitian or your healthcare provider to develop a plan that fits your individual needs.

Why does fat seem to collect around my stomach now?

Many women notice that fat distribution changes during perimenopause and menopause. As estrogen levels fluctuate and decline, the body tends to store more fat around the abdomen rather than the hips and thighs. Genetics, sleep, stress, physical activity, and nutrition also play important roles. While this shift can feel frustrating, building muscle, staying active, and maintaining healthy lifestyle habits can support overall health even if your body shape changes.

Is it too late to improve my health after menopause?

Absolutely not. Research consistently shows that improving strength, cardiovascular fitness, nutrition, and sleep can benefit women at every stage of life. It's never too late to build muscle, improve balance, support heart health, or increase your energy. Healthy aging isn't about becoming who you were twenty years ago—it's about helping the body you have today stay strong for the years ahead.

What's the most important lesson you've learned?

If there's one thing I hope women take away from my story, it's this: your body is not failing you. It is changing, adapting, and carrying you through a new season of life. You can still care deeply about your health while letting go of the belief that your worth is measured by a number on the scale. For me, the goal is no longer to have the body I had at thirty-five. The goal is to build a body that will carry me through the life I still want to live.

Disclaimer

This article is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The information provided is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical condition, symptoms, or treatment options including anxiety, sleep disruption, or any medication changes. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read here.

About the Author

Michele Martinez is the founder of NovaPause and a Certified Menopause Coach through Girls Gone Strong. After navigating her own unexpected journey through surgical menopause, weight changes, hot flashes, sleep disruption, and the many symptoms no one warned her about, she created NovaPause to bridge the gap between medical research and real life.

Her mission is simple: translate evidence-based menopause research into practical, compassionate guidance that helps women feel informed, understood, and empowered. Through NovaPause, Michele combines current scientific research with lived experience to create resources that support women through every stage of perimenopause and menopause.

When she isn't writing, researching, or building NovaPause, you'll usually find her strength training, planning her next adventure with her husband Elias, or reminding herself that health is about living well—not chasing a number on the scale.

Sources & Further Reading

The information in this article is based on current menopause research and recommendations from trusted medical organizations.

The Menopause Society (formerly North American Menopause Society) – Evidence-based information on menopause symptoms, healthy aging, hormone therapy, and lifestyle recommendations.
https://menopause.org
National Institute on Aging (NIH) – Healthy aging, exercise, and physical activity recommendations for older adults.
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/exercise-and-physical-activity
Office on Women's Health (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services) – Menopause overview, symptoms, and treatment options.
https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) – Patient education and clinical guidance on menopause and healthy aging.
https://www.acog.org/womens-health
World Health Organization (WHO) – Healthy ageing and physical activity recommendations.
https://www.who.int